Everyone smiles with Niko-chan's smile!
Good evening 🌛
Hinatazaka46 5th Gen,
Tsurusaki Niko (鶴崎仁香) here
Thank you so, so much
for reaching out to my blog tonight 🤍
Aobazaka46 audition has started since last month 🍃
Apparently, it’s already been two years since I took the Hinatazaka46 New Member Audition
Time really flies, it feels so nostalgic..
I realized that I’ve never really talked in detail about what it was like for me to go through the audition process,
so I thought I’d take this opportunity
to tell you all about my audition experience 💭
Thank you for joining me again today!
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Summer, two years ago, 2024 🎐
The Hinatazaka46 New Member Audition had begun.
Suki da. Suki da. Suki Dakara.
I love singing.
I love dancing.
I love idols.
Loving something is the strongest power there is.
It makes me happy just by itself.
It gives me the strength to keep going, just by itself.
If you throw yourself wholeheartedly into something you love, surely, you can go anywhere.
What a wonderful catchphrase, it perfectly expresses how I feel...!
Those were the thoughts going through my mind at the beginning of that summer.
Before I knew it, September had already arrived.
This was truly, truly my last chance.
Once I thought of it that way, all kinds of thoughts started swirling around in my head,
and I just couldn’t find the courage to press the application button.
What I’m about to tell you about
actually goes back another two years from that point 💭
2022, At the time, I was a first-year university student.
I had loved the Sakamichi groups ever since I became a fan in my third year of middle school. The Sakamichi groups were the first thing I had ever become so deeply and continuously passionate about…!
I bought CDs, watched MVs at home, and watched the regular variety shows of all three Sakamichi groups. There were only so many things I could do, but from the moment I discovered the Sakamichi groups, every day of my life became so much more colorful.
The first live performance I ever saw in my life
was the mini live at the nationwide handshake event for “Kyun.”
was the mini live at the nationwide handshake event for “Kyun.”
When I saw an idol performance live for the first time, I just couldn’t take my eyes off them…!
There were even people around my age up there, yet they could move people’s hearts this much. It was truly amazing. They were sparkling, so cool, and so incredibly impressive…!!
I was lucky enough to be able to watch the mini live from fairly close to the front, so the memories from that day are still vividly etched in my heart even now.
Even while I was lining up for the handshake event after the mini live had ended, my head was still completely filled with thoughts of the performance I had just watched.
When it was finally my turn,
and I found myself standing face-to-face with Nao-san, whom I had always admired,
I somehow found myself saying,
“If there’s ever an audition someday, I definitely want to audition…!”
The moment I said it, I immediately regretted it, thinking, “Wait, why did I just say something like that? ( ; ; )”
But Nao-san was truly so kind.
She looked me in the eyes and said,
“I’ll be waiting for you…!”
From that moment on, my feelings of simply loving idols gradually turned into feelings of admiration, and I began to strongly wish that I could become an idol who could inspire someone to take that first step, and make someone smile!
That’s what I had started to feel very strongly.
Going back to 2022.
Although I was attending university at the time, the truth is that I hadn’t been able to get into the university I had hoped for, and I was struggling with what path to take next..
On the day of my high school graduation ceremony, I still hadn’t decided what I wanted to do with my future, and I was so scared of going to school that I just couldn’t bring myself to go. I even told my mom that I didn’t want her to come…
I entered university that spring, but I found myself struggling because I felt like the direction I was heading in didn’t suit me.
And that was when this audition came along.
I remember applying with excitement, thinking, “I want to take this audition and try heading down a new path!”
The first in-person audition was incredibly nerve-racking, but at the same time, I could feel my heart pounding with excitement.
As I progressed through each stage of the audition, the feeling of “Maybe… just maybe…” gradually grew stronger and stronger.
The judges asked me,
“What kind of person do you want to become after joining?”
Of course, I was serious about taking the audition, but I didn’t have the confidence to think, “I’m definitely going to pass!” So I hadn’t really thought that far ahead.
Later, I deeply regretted not being able to clearly say, “This is the kind of person I want to become!”
The moment my number was quietly skipped over, everything in front of me went completely dark.
I couldn’t hear the numbers being called one after another anymore. I just remember keeping my head down and staring at the floor
Even though I knew what had happened, it still took me a long time to accept the reality of it.
That day, I couldn’t stop crying, to the point where I wondered if I would ever be able to recover from it
Even so, I feel like just a few days later, I was already thinking, “Next time…!”
Am I being negative or positive…? LOL
In this case, I might actually be pretty positive! Maybe it’s because it was only after I failed that I was able to discover just how strong my feelings really were.
What could I do before I audition again?
If I didn’t change myself, maybe I would end up with the same result again.
If I didn’t change myself, maybe I would end up with the same result again.
Even if another audition opportunity came along in the future, I couldn’t just remain the same person I was all that time until then.
How old are you allowed to be when you dream?
Even if I didn’t pass the audition, I still had to think seriously about what I would do afterward.
That’s what I thought, and after spending a lot of time thinking about it, I realized that the thing right in front of me that I could challenge myself with at the time was university.
After taking a leave of absence from university for the second semester, those few months passed by in the blink of an eye.
I remember that whenever I thought, “Maybe I’ll take a little break,” I would just listen to “Seishun no Uma” over and over again.
I’d catch myself singing along without even realizing it! So at some point, I started listening to the off-vocal version a lot too
Right now, without thinking about anything else, I’ll throw myself into it and pursue my dream with everything I’ve got
The seasons changed, and it was autumn 2024 🍂
What do you think is one of your strengths?
I think it’s that once I make up my mind to do something, I can keep going without giving up until the very end!
This time, I was able to properly answer every question I was asked. Somehow, just that alone made me happy.
When my number was called, I raised my head.
What I saw in front of me was a white wall.
The Hinatazaka46 logo stretched across the entire wall.
The sight was incredibly dazzling, bright, and sparkling to me.
As I walked toward the wall, almost as if I were being drawn into the white light,
I feel like, for the first time, I was finally able to have just a little more confidence in myself.
Zenryoku de noboru dake, bokutachi wa Hinatazaka (All we can do is climb with everything we’ve got. We are Hinatazaka)
For those who planned to take on the audition.
I think there are probably people who have confidence in themselves from the very beginning, and people who don’t. Everyone is different.
But if you don’t give up and choose to take on the challenge,
something within you might change…!
Applications are open until October 8.
There’s still plenty of time!
Maybe I’m not really in a position to say this,
but I believe that the answer you arrive at after thinking and worrying so much will surely become a source of strength for you in the life ahead of you, too..!
If you’d like, please find the courage to take that first step 🌿
I’m truly glad that I decided to audition.
And I also want to tell my past self, who chose not to give up and audition back then, “Thank you”
I’ll be waiting here with everyone else,
for as long as it takes ( ¨̮ )!
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That’s all for today’s blog!
I’ll see you again in my next blog ~!
This has turned out to be quite long, but I wanted to share my story today.
Thank you so much
for reading all the way to the end 🤍
Well then, see you again.
Bonus ( ¨̮ )
Um, this is really sudden, but
The other day, I ate something for the very first time in my life!!
Can you guess what it was…?
The answer is, space (food) vanilla ice cream!!
How about that? Were you surprised?
The taste was sweeter and gentler than I expected, and when I took my time savoring it, the vanilla flavor came through at the very end 🍨
It feels kind of strange to think that you can eat ice cream even in space ~
If that’s possible, then here on Earth, maybe there are even more things we can eat than we realize?
There are still so many things I’ve never tried before, so I want to keep trying all kinds of things (˶'ᵕ'˶)
That’s another challenge for me too, after all!!
Well then, really, see you again!
#にこにこぶろぐ #148
(I’ve never tried things like dragon fruit or escargot either ~~
The reason is that when I was in elementary school, I actually kept escargots, well, snails—for a while during summer vacation.
So somehow, I just haven’t been able to work up the courage… But I am curious, so I’d like to try them someday!
I might actually end up loving them… though, hmm, that would be a little scary.
Wait, what was I talking about again?! lol
That’s right! I originally wanted to tell you all about the snails I used to keep, but I’m sure that story would end up being pretty long, so I’ll stop here for today.
I’m really happy you read all the way to the end ~!
Well then, really, see you again!)
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